They are "we need to talk."
at least I say it, and it feels better now. move move move 🙂
Archive for 十月, 2008
the fact, the truth
It’s not hard for me to make friends with guys. Some of them treat me nice, and I know what they want. Therefore, I usually avoid dating or go out with them. Sometimes they will leave and go away, sometimes we become friends… Most of us have certain experience about meet and miss, come and go. However timing and feeling often play tricks and make us feel annoyed… maybe I am the only one feel so?
Here is a story… There’s a guy (A) who kept asking a girl out. They chatted, they had fun. He also kept telling her not to fall in love with him (for some reasons), and she didnt. She thought, then it’s a good thing to have a male friend as well. A few weeks later, guy (A) said he needed to figure out something and disappeared. Meanwhile, another guy (B) came and showed interests in her. They went out with each other, another few weeks passed, they got together. At that moment, guy (A) said, I like you and I wanted to know how you feel. The girl said, it’s a little too late. Why did you tell me now as you always acted like we were just friends?
This was my gemini experience, although I dont know many geminis, I feel they are pretty much alike in some ways. While aries people’s emotion and feelings are like flame which tends to burn fast (maybe burn themselves). And get frustrated if there’s no (obvious) response. Some said, if you put too much stress on one date, you should take another date to relax a bit. In my case, I found myself feel anxious and the uncertainty drives me crazy. With these symptoms, either I should try a confession or something helpful… e.g.I would like to ask, I like you , dont know if you feel the same? similar with me? or at least, you feel something? If I had a chance to ask, I would. Since I think I can’t stand it any longer and dont want simu-date happen again.
sadness is sour
stations, airports…,anywhere/anytime considering about welcome and leaving, often make me feel like crying.
I think about the scene in the movie, Love Actually, where everyone hugs in the airport, which tries to tell us love is actually everywhere.
But I felt sad when I got on the train yesterday. My nose felt something <PH7, why is sadness sour not bitter or spicy?
Is it bcuz "sour" always makes people look funny? You should’ve seen my facial expression, must be very funny then.
Kyla said I reminds her Chris and Jasmine. Everytime Chris left Shanghai, he felt like crying on the train. Right, the frequency of my taking deep breath is getting higher. maybe I put too much stress on this or maybe im too sensitive?
Baishawan, White sand beach & my beach weekend
This is the theme song of 《Secret》,the movie. Part of the scene is shoot in Baishawan, the white sand beach we went to last weekend. Interestingly, this is my mom told me. I went there 20 years ago with my family, father, mother, sister….long time ago. But this time everything changes, the place we stayed is abandoned, the huge house stands behind is empty… Maybe seeing this makes me feel a bit sad and strange although I did have a good time walking around.
If there’s a hug or something, things will be just perfect. However, none.
I guess Im in a desperate mood now and need something romantic.
“guy-hunting"
Bert asked would I say Im actively "guy hunting" for going this KTV single party, meet people on the internet(most of time I dont), or go to an arranged date (only once!). Well, as far as my concern, these are ways to meet people. I think Im passively "guy hunting," if waiting could be seen as "hunting."
Actually, I dont mind to meet new people and make friends (but sometimes it’s tiring to talk about the same thing to them as well), especially when you have "enthusiastic" relatives and friends who want to introduce you nice man, and want to see you happy…etc. If I am available that time and feel like to go somewhere, I might go there and spend the evening. Anyway, I dont have a boyfriend asks me not to go to this venue.
After arranged date and single party, I thought I might be not TW guys’ type, or must be I act so cold 😛 Anyway, Im not surprised and I dont expect. Yet yesterday a guy called to ask me to go for a movie (Cape No.7) which I’ve already seen. Well, Im going to Taipei, so, give the movie a miss.
take a break
Good friend told me she and her bf are taking a break, they seperate for a while. I sent my consulation SMS to China asking if she’ll be ok. She said she’ll be fine, asked me not to worry. I cared about her not only bcuz we’ve talked about our relationships, problems all the time, but also bcuz when I was in my misery two years ago, she comforted me a lot, though we are a bit far away from each other…lots of things! I guess there’s certain connection so that we miss the time we shared in England and hope to meet each other one day (not just us, all sisters Kyla, Jenny, Karman…you girls know).
It’s the first time she felt like to settle down, at least, felt comfortable in a relationship and wanted to know whether she’s in his future plan, while this guy doesn’t want to think or talk about their future. Culture difference or different attitudes toward relationship? She said, both. I asked English teacher, Kev, about this culture thing. He said in eastern culture, generally, when a guy meets a girl, they both tend to think in a long-term perspective, say, marriage. e.g. Will my parents like him / her? Education background….etc. So, asking questions in the first date is kind of "filtering." Western people also ask questions, but they dont usually think about future at this moment. But to both eastern and western, relationship is like investment. The question is, why we keep investing, when to stop investing…(hopefully without lose!)
We used to say marriage is a piece of paper. Bcuz we lack of courage!? If promise doesnt mean something nowadays, why do we still look for promise? Maybe we want a confirmation about our choices. We want this person to tell you that you are right and everything will be fine. Kev said, it doesnt matter, people will still get married and find out what’s out there, and…we’ll see!
confession
Kyla said I let myself walk into a trap. But at least Im honest to tell you my feeling and feel relieved. Well, maybe not so relieved, no wonder Kyla says honesty brings anxiety (now I understand). But, it’s harmless to be honest and sincere
Maybe there are some misunderstandings, differences, maybe we get lost sometimes, but I dont want to guess.
Guess makes more anxieties. So I decided to tell the truth.
Best timing to say I miss you
It’s easy for some people to say I miss you, seriouly, jokingly, or flirtily.
But it could also be difficult.
It takes courage or thinking, and practice<–definately
I dont say this often so I found it’s clumsy when I say so. I dont have talent for this or I dont have chance to practice?
magnet
Magnet, an expression for girl friends in north China. I mean girl friends for girls, one of the best examples is those four in sex and the city. There are different terms or expressions for girls’ gilr friends. My shanghai "magnet" described me as a "magnet" in her blog, and my asking about the meaning forms this article.
Bcuz she’s a typical Shanghai girl, I thought there would be certain expression in her language. She said, they called girl friends "little sister." However, I cant recall any expression of this in Taiwanese ( or the Chinese we speak in Taiwan). We have an idiom, the main meaning is: best friends in girls’ rooms (Im not sure if I translate it properly). But it is nothing like "little sister" or "magnet," not sweet and close enough to describe relationships among girls. (And, I dont think it’s bcuz I have tooooo few girls friends to know about those expressions. see I got one across the Taiwan Strait!)
Thank you for join today’s programme: communication between China and Taiwan! We hope to see u soon in next class.
Have a nice day!
Single Party and KTV culture
Is this a toooo broad topic?
Engineerer, the dream job of guys!?
A colleague asked me to go to a single party KTV, and I went. There are about 18 people in total. Her friend invited guys(engineerers) from UMC (an OEM company) and girls are mainly from my company plus my sister and a friend. Engineerers are regarded as a not-too-bad job now, although there are engineerers everywhere, like college graduates in Taiwan. If you asked the occupation of a nearly decent guy on the street, 80% of them will have this answer: Im an engineerer. (although there are lots of different fields) And if you asked a college boy, 85% of them major in EE, IT, IE, ME, etc. (I made up the numbers, just want to describe the huge amount of engineerers and engineerers wanna-be)
What if we dont have KTV?
Basically, Taiwanese go KTV a lot. Do we really really love singing? I know Japanese and Chinese also goes KTV, but I have no clue about their social life, and whether it happenes a lot in KTV too. In Taiwan, KTV provides a ready -to-use place for gathering, party, food, entertainment. In short, it’s like an one-stop shop to have fun with big screen, lighting, speakers, sofa….everything. Convenient anyway. If you r fancy for a drink, they also have wine list, just most people order beer (larger size for bunch of people).
For girls, it also provides certain level of conveniences. Bcuz most girls are not outdoor type, go KTV allows them to dress fashionable and look gorgeous. And maybe, with a microphone, everyone has his / her own moment to feel like a star / singer. In my opinion, everyone has an inner star of him/herself and will reveal this side when in KTV (or on stage).
I read an article about Taiwanese’ KTV or drinking culture. According to it, I found Taiwanese people are actually very suppressed. We dont talk much, dont chat, in social venue, you might know who’s good at drinking, who’s good at singing,…nevertheless, you have less clue about who he or she really is. Kinda sad, right? But you have to drink to get clients place order,…
So, we go to KTV express our feeling, anger, to see friends and to enjoy a bit.
Besides those mentioned above, people go to KTV for single party. But dont u think it’s like talking to a girl in a bar? Music is loud, people are noisy…so you have to sit close and talk loud. That’s why people get sore throat afterward (sing too much or talk too hard). Hopefully you’ll have fun at that moment, enjoy your song…and swap numbers with your "target." Although we know that exchanging numbers doesnt mean there comes to the next step. Sometimes guys are too shy to call, sometimes exchange numbers is just being polite, sometimes they are afraid of being rejected….all kinds of reasons more than u can imagine. So, should girls call? Most of Taiwanese girls wont. Bcuz it is regarded as unserious and I believe every girl wants to be taken seriously. This society can be very open and conservative at the same time. Maybe it’s due to my personal opinion too.
Single Party
I dont often have this kinda chances to attend a single party. And in my limited experiences, KTV with those from school of engineering isnt fun enough. (hope it’s my prejudice!) Although there’s a guy guess im 5 years younger it doesnt make me feel happier lol If he’s not a too smooth guy, then he is just playing polite, and I believe it’s the latter.
Im always curious about why people would meet their bf/gf in single party. Like we used to have some house parties inviting lots and lots people from friends’ friends. We always say "bring whoever you want!" Then the party will turn out to be some stranger gathering. no one really knows anyone from it. free food and drinks for sure.
Conclusion: I prefer to have a small party with a few friends. this conclusion is weak!!
Jackie's Journal 